Two Mes

If you crossed paths with me last week, you likely encountered one version of me—the one that was probably distracted, dull, low energy, a bit irritable, and maybe even short with you. But if you run into me today, you’ll meet a different version: calm, lighthearted, lucid, kind, and full of energy. There are plenty of versions of me in between, but it’s no secret which one I prefer. And out of both kindness and self-interest, I’d much rather the people I care about—my family, friends, colleagues, and anyone I interact with—meet this better version of me more often.

The question is: how do I show up as the best version of myself more often, and less as the stressed, impatient one?

Last week, the "first me" took over due to a mix of circumstances. A nagging back pain threw off my exercise routine, which led to a domino effect—poor diet choices, restless sleep, and way too much screen time. To make things worse, a work trip added more disruptions to my routine and left little space to recover. It’s no surprise the worst version of me was at the wheel.

But this weekend? I finally had the space to reset. I got the sleep I needed, detoxed from my phone, swam, hit the sauna, and spent time with friends without any pressure. Basically, did the basic shit. And just like that, the "second me" made a comeback.

If you think about it, this idea of two versions of yourself is not new. The pop science version explains it as the lower brain (or default mode network) vs. the upper brain. The lower brain is reactive, scattered, and anxious, while the upper brain is intentional, wise, and composed.

Here’s the truth: our only real goal is to keep that upper brain—the best version of ourselves—running the show. When we do that, everything else tends to fall into place.

Notes

1. A common tactic of consumer apps/products and political players is to entice and bring out your lower brain, and try to package it as giving people what they want.