Firm but kind

As a leader and manager, you have responsibilities to fulfill, outcomes to achieve, and personal boundaries to protect.  

You can try to do that with obnoxious aggression. But it’s unkind and unpleasant, and people around you will leave you or never rise to their potential. You may be able to go fast, but you won’t go far. 

If you swing the other way and be a nice pushover, you will not achieve your goals and be taken advantage of. The tolerance for mediocrity, lack of progress, and bottled-up frustration will eventually catch up to the people who work with you, your customers, your performance, and your business. 

There's a better way - be firm on standards, but be fair, kind, and respectful. You can't fake this. You must authentically and deeply care for the mission, business, quality of work, and yourself, and for the well-being and success of the people you work with. 

Appreciate and reward great work. Give everyone a fine reputation to live up to. Be straightforward and candid when the work is below the bar. Comment on the work and the impact, not on the person or character. Offer sufficient feedback, support, and opportunity to turn things around. Be consistent. Hold yourself to the same or higher standards.