They used to say you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. That was before the internet hijacked your attention span and filled your brain with digital sludge. Today, your closest companions aren’t friends, mentors, or thoughtful voices. They're algorithmically boosted, attention-seeking strangers yelling into the Internet void—clickbait journalists, TikTok dancers, Twitter thinkbois, clout-chasing grifters, promiscuous influencers, silly comedy Reelers, and conspiracy-peddling uncles in WhatsApp group chats. In short: idiots. And the worst part? They’re shaping you. Your brain—like an AI model—is plastic. Moldable. Continuously trained on whatever data you feed it. And right now, you’re feeding it junk. Doomscroll long enough and you’re not just consuming idiocy—you’re becoming it. Look at your feed. Really look. Out-of-context quotes. Shallow outrage. Celebrity gossip no one will remember in 48 hours. Fake experts selling fake solutions. Outrage bai...
Most capable and healthy people enjoy their autonomy and boundaries - a way to exercise their own way of being and creativity. It tends to bring out their best and make them feel good. Conversely, most people have a visceral reaction to domination and authority. Demanding and commanding may be apt when the situation is dire and answer is somewhat clear; like during a war. Or with a low-trust and low-agency audience where you have some leverage, power, or authority. But in most cases, asking and influencing well will have higher ceiling and longer-term outcomes. It’s also more pleasant for everyone involved. “If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.”
Why do you like people or music instantly — and not others? You didn’t do a structured analysis. You didn’t create a pros-cons list. You just felt something click — and that was that. The same goes for cities, coffee shops, relationships, products, and even presidents. Why Brad Pitt over Chris Evans? Why Tokyo over Paris? Toyota or Mercedes? Claude or GPT? Why does one place feel like home and another feel… off? When I asked a sales lead for our B2B software what makes us win or lose a customer, I expected to hear about features, pricing, or buyer personas. But he shrugged and said, “Honestly, it mostly comes down to whether product managers or execs are on the call.” There’s a pattern here. And it isn’t logic. Most of us pretend we live like Spock, but we make decisions like jazz musicians — improvisational, intuitive, all feeling. From friends to lovers, brands to beliefs, the throughline in our choices isn’t reason. It’s resonance . It’s mostly vibes. “Vibes” is the best word w...